


Credence

by Kon_El_of_Kandor



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Batfamily, Gen, Jason Todd Centric, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, for a brief second, sadness is a main theme
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2020-01-31 15:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18593884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kon_El_of_Kandor/pseuds/Kon_El_of_Kandor
Summary: Jason seeks comfort on a bad night.





	Credence

**Author's Note:**

> So, some of your are probably wondering where I went. Not long after I last updated I got into a bad car accident and broke the smaller bones in my right hand. Other than that my car was basically street meat. It’s been three months since and I havent been able to get myself out of this slump I’m in. 
> 
> Until recently. Which I learned very quickly that although healed,it hurt to type. In any case this was written prior to the accident and I stumbled upon it and decided it was an apology for my disappearance. It’ll take me some time to get back in the swing of things but a lot is already written. There is still much left to write but we’ll get there. Slowly but surely. Thanks your your patience!

Jason sat quietly in the middle of his room. The sheets completely crumpled, all traces of his usual neatness gone. The only noise heard was his still too quiet panting.

 

He allowed himself this much. So usually emotional, full of rage and hate now silenced. He left himself feel the horror and grief. The dream was just that, a dream.

 

At least he tried to tell himself that, deep down he knew it was more than a dream. A memory.

 

The red shirt he wore to sleep now completely drenched in his terror filled dream sweat. The deep dark color no longer brought him comfort. The material bothered his skin, is as if attacking him.

 

Reaching down he rolled the cloth over his head and into the nearest corner. Another unusual action by the rather neat boy.

 

From his seat at the corner of his bed, he saw nothing in the shadows of his room. Still, the thoughts in his mind raced to find the culprit of such terrors in his dreams.

 

No one in his home but him.

 

Maybe, for once, he longed for someone to come take his terrors and replace them but comfort.

 

Just once he wished he didn’t have to face his dreams alone. That someone could understand this pain and sadness deep within him.

 

The emotions that rarely ever got to come out and show themselves. Now stood first not hiding away behind anger and terror.

 

He knew he had people who cared about him, that would drop everything to support him.

 

Jason couldn’t make up his mind. The grief holding him so tight that it could only mean one thing. That today was the day.

 

A quick flip of his phone found not only the time, but the date. In his mind he checked the little box that confirmed his suspicions.

 

On this day, a decade ago he had lost his mother. Jason didn’t care for remembering how long ago had it been since he himself had died.

 

Yet his mind remembered his mother. He missed his mother despite going half of his life without her.

 

Jason stood from his spot, and walked quickly into the adjacent bathroom. Splashing cold water on his face he closed his eyes.

 

Hoping that the racing thoughts would stray from her, that they would stay away from the few memories he still carried of her.

 

The pit may have brought him back to life but it also destroyed most that he remembered of her. Still he had few cherished memories. Few terrorizing memories, but still memories that held Catherine Todd as the mother she was to him.

 

Yet the more he wished to stray from the thought, the more drawn in he became. The more he heard her laugh, her drawn out singing and voice.

 

Sliding down onto the floor of his bathroom he clutched his head in his hands and hoped that maybe this,that maybe remembering her. Would give back to her the way that she had given to him.

 

Tears flowed freely down his face and he cried for the lost soul that had been taken from him too soon. The mother that had not been his, but had loved him as her own.

 

He stayed on the cold tiled floor, letting the memories flow over him and carry away his sorrow. Wiping his eyes, Jason stood from his little corner and faced himself in the mirror.

 

His mother had been taken from him, while she hadn’t had anyone to call family besides him. He did.

 

He wouldn’t let himself fall down a similar path. For all that he loved his mother, she had her demons that took her from the child that so desperately wanted her. That needed her.

 

Though he had no children to call his own, he would be damned if he let his family suffer in the face of his own death again.

 

For those thoughts visited him often, as they visited him today. A thought so simple as seeing his mother again crossed his mind.

 

Before it had even breathed a single moment worth contemplating, many images popped into the forefront of his mind.

 

Faces, people, people who he deeply cared about. People who thought equally of him. His team, the Outlaws. Biz, Artemis, Roy and Starfire all became a reason. To seek justice on those who wished harm others.

 

Bruce, Alfred, Selina. Came and went just as fast. For them, to show that he had risen from what he had become. Yet not forgotten where he was from.

 

Dick, Tim, Cass and Damian finally appeared, and stayed the longest. His siblings. In turn they each held a memory of him, of them. They were all children of the night, rising from the ashes of tragedy to become something more.

 

All of them coming from nothing to become something, even if history never knew their names. They’d know of their actions.

 

His story was not over. The Red Hood still had much to do, he had lived and breathed twenty something years, he was still so young.

 

Taking it upon himself, he slowly rose from where he found himself sitting yet again. Quietly putting on clothes that would protect him from the ride and night. He slipped out of his window.

 

Climbing the small fire escape down he reached the low level parking. Quietly putting on his helmet and contrasting it not even a second later as he revved the motorcycle to life.

 

The memories were held at bay as he drove through the soft night of the city. The rain was barely there, the cold presenting itself as if to make up for the lack of rain.

 

The shops had its lights on as he drove and drove. The bright red and green of holiday festivities shined bright and beautiful on a dark and desolate night.

 

Small jingles rattled as the wind he kicked up had died by the time it reached the bells on doors. The city was still far from waking up and he breathed in the cold wind and let his eyes close.

 

Opening them not a second later, just in time to exit the main road. Toward a winding path that kept going for miles.

 

He slowed to lift his darkened visor, the full force of the December cold hit him but he braved the remaining minutes up the path.

 

He slowled his bike as he reached a subtle fork in the road, looking left he could see the outline of the imposing place he called home.

 

To the right just behind the bend was a house he so rarely thought of these days. Memories of play dates with their neighbors child so far from his mind that he forgot the same shy child was now his brother.

 

There had been a reason for Tim’s eagerness in friends, especially friends like him and Dick who lived so close. The thought of his brothers parents made his emotions turn bright red for the briefest of moments before he let out the breath he didn’t know he had held.

 

The abandoned estate was a testament to Tim’s ability to overcome his past. If only Jason we’re so strong.

 

Pushing his bike onward he slowly drove up to the manor gates. Holding up a key card that would open the gate without distributing his grandfather at such a late time, he waited as the gate opened.

 

With the bike hardly moving to keep the noise down from actual bats that resides here. He rounded the side of the house where the rather larger garage sat; once again lifting his card and waited for the doors to open. Turning off the bike he got up and walked over to a spot and parked the bright red vehicle.

 

At the manor he had a few parking spaces to his name, not as many as Dick but more than Tim. Looking around their tiny parking lot he noticed Dick’s blue sedan and Tim’s black fancy car. Off to the side he noticed a green coupe that he didn’t recognize.

 

Bruce didn’t park his cars on this side as it was strictly for his kids to mess around with their vehicles. If they destroyed something it wouldn’t be near his cars.

 

Walking over to the dark green car he noticed a rather small license plate hanging on the wall next to it. One that could be found at cheesy theme park souvenir shops. With a simple name engraved on it.

 

Damian.

 

Turning back he studied the car, and smiled. The small car had just as much Damian’s personality on the outside and he had no doubt it did under the hood too.

 

Whistling at the car, he laughed at himself for forgetting the little terror was turning sixteen soon. Hell Jason remembers being excited to start fixing up what would become his car once he could drive.

 

Before the crowbar. Before his death.

 

He knew that simple blue car still sat here, in this parking garage. It’s engine half completed, still missing some parts. It’s dreams of seeing the streets under its wheels again dashed just as fast as his.

 

He knew for he had seen it in the back of Bruce’s collection, where he knew that only his favorite cars sat.

 

Turning away from distant memories, he walked to the door that lead into the house. Locking the door behind him, he took his jacket off slowly. Taking his shoes off at the little rack that stood by the door and placing his leather jacket on the rack beside it.

 

The soft black joggers slightly damp from the rain of his ride made him second guess his intentions. Still he walked on.

 

A small tinkle broke the silence as he rounded into the kitchen. On the table sat a black cat, with mischief on its face as it sat where it knew it wasn’t allowed.

 

He chuckled at the feline and went up to pet it.

 

“And what are you doing up here buddy?” He spoke softly as he pet the back of Alfred’s ears. After a a few moments of just soft purring and head butting the kitten got up and meowed at him as it jumped off.

 

Looking back at Jason the little feline ran across the kitchen and rounded the corner up the steps, most definitely toward its masters room.

 

Following the cat he too went up the stairs but paused at his room. Before stepping away and climbing up to the third floor.

 

He stopped right outside the door ready to knock, knowing full well that the resident never locked this door. Not once in the many years of Jason’s residency here.

 

He knocked ever so quietly, knowing that Bruce had heard his footsteps up to the door.

 

“Come in.” The voice he missed so, responded. Taking a deep breath he opened the door.

 

His brain catching up to him as he realized that Bruce was married, that Selina would be inconvenienced by his presence.

 

As if guessing the reason of his hesitation, Bruce spoke.

 

“She’s at Ivy’s. Said something about a Sirens sleepover.” He spoke with amusement in his voice.

 

Bruce had slightly sat up in his bed, with one elbow propped up and squinting at his son in the doorway.

 

“You wanna come in Jay?” Still speaking slowly.

 

“Yeah, sorry.” He finally got out and closed the door behind him. Walking forward his father, as he stretched the hand he wasn’t leaning on, so that the blankets would open up and Jason climbed in.

 

Never let it be said that the Red Hood cuddled with just anyone, but if the Batman could then maybe he could too.

 

Jason knew that Bruce probably knew what today was. Bruce made it his business to know what went on in his children’s lives. No matter how hard Jason tried to cover his fallings.

 

Yet Jason was contempt to stay here. Still...he wouldn’t be opposed to being closer to his father. He was saddened at the thought of a smaller Bruce, who had no one to go to for comfort.

 

He felt a hundred times more grateful for his father being alive. For failing to exact his revenge on someone who didn’t deserve it.

 

Scooting closer to Bruce, Jason turned his head onto his dad's shoulder. He felt Bruce place a hand on his back and stoke him slowly.

 

A slow and regular action, Jason really wanted to speak to him but his thoughts began slowing for the first time that night.

 

“ Do you miss her sometimes? Your mother?” He spoke out into the darkness. His father's hand stopped and he felt remorse for asking something so sensitive.

 

“I do. I do. I used to stay up at night thinking how much she would have loved to meet all of you. To see her grandkids grow up and become the saving force she tried to give Gotham. She would have been proud of you all, but I guess she gave me all her pride because I am more than proud of you all. Especially you Jay.” Jason probably imagined the water he heard in Bruce’s voice.

 

“I also know that your mother would have been extremely proud to have you as her son. Being a parent myself, and despite you not being mine, I never not think of how you are mine in so many ways. That’s how I know that she loved you so much. That she wouldn’t have left you if she had a choice Jay. That she’s watching you grow and learn. Doing everything she never could and becoming your own man.” He continues as Jason closes his eyes and his memories of Catherine are mixed with the earliest he has of Bruce.

 

“Thank you Bruce. Really. I-.” Jason tries but his voice fails him and he chokes up on his tears and memories.

 

Bruce leans down to kiss the top of his hair and shush him. Bringing him closer in his embrace to his father.

 

“Your grandmother, she always advocated for second chances. Whenever I got in trouble she always told me that I had another chance to prove to her that I was still learn right from wrong.” Bruce started and hugged his son a little tighter at the memory of his mother.

 

“When you died, and came back so angry I couldn’t help but remember my mother everytime that she would tell me about my second chance. I knew you had been taken from me far too soon. That the anger you felt was righteous, if misplaced. So I never gave up on you. I kept following you to the point where you gave in and you let us help you heal.” His tears are getting harder to control and Jason tries to be strong not only for his father, but also his mother.

 

“I never thought you were broken son, I only had you for a few years but I knew you. I knew you were hurting and it hurt me seeing you in so much pain. And when you were healing you became something Batman could never be. For that I am so deeply proud of you. And I know your grandmother would be too.” Jason felt his eyes drooping in his tired haze, feeling safety and comfort, warmth and affection all wrapped in this blanket.

 

“Sleep Jason. We have the rest of our lives to talk, to heal. For now, sleep.”

 

-

 

The soft patter of rain falling on the balcony woke Jason a few hours later, it still felt early but not too early.

 

Sitting up he found the space next to him empty, and he rolled over to get up. The weight on his chest exponentially lifted. He smiled and went to the bathroom to be presentable for breakfast knowing that all his siblings would be there. Probably. He didn’t remember seeing Cass’ car yesterday, maybe she was still with Steph in Metropolis.

 

Shrugging at the cold that the winter morning brought he walked down to the kitchen where he already heard a ruckus being made. Poor Alfred.

 

The fresh smell of coffee hit his nose and he was greeted with a cup from Bruce. Looking down Jason smiled at the cup and gave his thanks.

 

“ I was just about to go wake you but I suppose you’re already awake.” Bruce told him between sips of his own coffee.

 

“What time did you come in? Dude I got in at like one thirty.” Dick said as he rounded the table with a plate full of eggs and toast.

 

“Uhhh I actually don’t remember what time it was.” He said scratching the back of his head. It was 2 when he checked his phone at his apartment but then it didn’t include the drive or the fact tha-.

 

“I was fell asleep around three and I didn’t hear him so probably some time after. Seeing as it’s eight thirty and he’s awake I doubt later than four.” Tim spoke behind his laptop.

 

“How’d you convince Alfred to let you get your tech in here huh kid?” Jason smirked and leaned over to see what was on the screen. Tim quickly shut the screen and shoved the laptop aside and went to get a plate for himself.

 

“It’s W.E work. Alfred won’t mind.” He said absentmindedly putting a lot of egg on his plate. Jeez kid ever heard of cholesterol?

 

“Alfred does in fact mind.” Their grandfather said as he stepped back into the kitchen with a bowl of freshly cut fruit. So that’s where he was.

 

“Tt. Working so close to going in? No wonder I will be taking over for you so soon.” Damian spoke as he sipped his orange juice. No doubt because Bruce restricted his caffeine intake. Wanting to avoid a Tim scenario. Heh.

 

Tim opened his mouth to retort something equally as insulting but Dick took the opportunity to shove a strawberry into Tim’s moth. Which earned and indignant squak from the kid. Jason laughed at him before realizing what Damian has just said.

 

“Speaking of being of age kid. I didn’t know you already started on your car. How’s that going huh.” He raised his eyebrow at the kid and bumped into him with his elbow.

 

Damian grew a large grin on his face and he held up his OJ.

 

“It’s going quite well. There’s only a few months until I can get my license and I’ve been working with father in between case work. We are making progress slowly but surely.”  He spoke the last sentence in to his cup almost bashful.

 

Such a stark contrast to the brash and arrogant kid Jason had met not five years ago. Damn Dick was a miracle worker.

 

“I saw, haven’t peaked under the hood but I was hoping that maybe we’d work on it today? How’s that sound?” Jason said and scooted back a tad as Bruce set a plate down in front of him with a warm smile. Which Jason reciprocated.

 

“That would be….most appreciated. Jason” He adds as an afterthought. Blushing lightly he finishes up his OJ and stands up quickly.

 

“I’ll go get showered and I’ll be right back so we can start!” He proclaims and runs up the stairs with his arms straight behind him.

 

“What the heck was that?” He asks at Tim’s laughter.

 

“Don’t ask. Tim got him into anime.” Dick sighs and Jason laughs and high fives Tim.

 

Who in turn smiles into his breakfast. Across the table, Bruce watches his kids interact. A smile lands on his face as he feels a hand at his shoulder. Placing his on top of his father figures’ he feels the finality of his family.

 

Finally, there at a place where they all enjoy each other’s company, where they can finally be a family together.

 

Jason finished up his eggs and potatoes before walking over to a seat in a different room, one facing the garden.

 

Placing his mug down he takes a minute. To mourn over the life he lost, and embrace the life he was given.

 

Jason smiles. He feels he’s earned this day.

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone get the last line? :)


End file.
